Blog #4--Narrative reflection

The narrative was a bit of an odd experience for me. I usually have a time period, or type of story assigned to me. To have to choose a story that affected me was a huge emotional risk, adding to the stress of having to remember a time that affected me in a strong way.  Finally, I took a different perspective. I chose an event that I was still trying to recover from. Writing about it, not the event itself but one that started the healing process a few weeks later, actually helped me. I buried the emotions associated with the passing of my great grandma—I had no choice. I had to take finals that week, and since burying it seemed easier then bringing it up to deal with it, I buried it. Now, I feel more at peace, since I have at least begun to tell people that it happened, and my feelings surrounding it.

I still am not sure if I would do the narrative again. But I was shown how I could improve my writing by putting myself through the process. Did I enjoy it? No. Will I ever, maybe. It sort of depends on if this growth helps me get better grades in all my classes. I hope so and honestly I’m looking forward to analytical writing only for that reason. I want to write better, but I didn’t want to lower my defenses enough to put my own voice into it. This assignment showed that I could, but I have to think about it. I have to be willing to put myself into the piece. Usually I can’t let my barriers down. I enjoy my safety measures too much. But maybe now I will be ready to slowly dismantle those walls that I have placed around myself. I hate criticism towards my writing; I see it as an attack on myself. Now I can somewhat see that it is merely there to help me write better. Now, if I can just keep that kind of attitude, I just might make it through this class.